Thursday, May 28, 2015

Grief, Loss and Love

Memory bowls.

Hello lovelies,

Our experiences shape us, mould us into who we are.  Last November, I was such a different person to who I am now, today.  Everything changed at the end of November last year when my beloved Nana died.  Very unexpectedly she had a stroke.  She had been healthy all her life, in her 60's she was teaching water aerobics (she taught water aerobics for 12 years).  She loved being active and the only time she slowed down was when she needed knee replacements.

I was still working through my grief at losing my Nana, when only 26 days later, by beloved Grandmother had a stroke too.  It was only a few days before Christmas, we were visiting Australia at the time, so I got to say goodbye and sit with her for hours before she left us later the same day. 26 days.  How do you process so much grief and loss?  To be honest, I was a mess for a few months.  I've only started to feel like myself again recently.  Of course I miss them both, I think of them often.   That early gut wrenching pain of their loss, it is now a dull ache.

Life goes on.  Life is so precious.  Every day is a gift.  Love is life.  They sound like cliches, but they are my truth.  I feel like a new person, that is not a bad thing - I have lived through this, I have loved and lost and I have come out the other side stronger yet more fragile at the same time.

Memory bowls.

Six months have now passed from when I lost my Nana.  Last week I travelled to Sydney to help my Auntie sort through my Nana's belongings.  I'm so glad I could help, to feel useful.  It was a very emotional few days, I cried so many tears.  We also shared many happy memories.  We talked about Nana, I asked my Pa again how they had met (to refresh my memory).  I packed a big pile of her clothes to bring back to HK.  I will cut them up and make some memory pieces to give to family members, to help remember her.

I have already cut up a pile of my Grandmothers clothes and made the first two memory bowls.  I have not been able to share them on Instagram or Facebook before now, they felt too private, to precious, they exposed me and my grief.  We humans are funny creatures.

So here are the first two "Memory Bowls" made from my Grandmother's cut up clothes. I will make more.  Soon I will cut up my Nana's clothes and make more memory bowls, to honour her memory.  But only when I am ready, grief takes time.  Grief can not be rushed.

Cat xox

Memory bowls.